Last night when my Mum came up she again asked how my sugars where going, it didn't feel like a 'casual how are they going', but as a 'you have to tell me' type of request. As usual, I refused. This is my journey, and I know she wants to help and is really, really concerned about me, but I don't want to be comparing our two journeys. I need to work this out on my own.
I did however wonder, should I be more open? If I am really going to accept this disease as part of my life should I tell people if they ask?
Why do I want to hide this so much? I think I need to really look at that question. There is only one person at work who knows. Am I afraid that people are going to judge? Is that always my fear? Being judged on my weight? Or people seeing my weight at the only reason that I have this disease? Is that hitting the nail on the head, or is that just another diversion away from whatever the real reason is that does my head in about all of this?
Would I be any better opening up to a support group?
Tonight feels like I am moving towards a lightness of being moment. Not the bright orange glow, but a clearer look at my issues.
Maybe I am getting somewhere.
I still remember when someone told me 'you don't look like you have MS', and just how angry I was. Illnesses do not fit into perfect patterns. Person A can chainsmoke all their lives and not get cancer. My mother's first husband (a very skinny man) died of untreated diabetes. Please, don't make assumptions. What is right for me, may not be right for you. And my illness does not define me. There is more to me than that.
ReplyDeleteAm I going close?
Hugs
PS I hope you had a wonderful meal.
Yep, you hit the nail right on the head. It is really hard being judged by others who don't really know you, or even really care, to find out. Hugs right back at you my beautiful friend. Your support, as usual, is a huge comfort to me. xxxx
DeleteAs a matter of interest while in the waiting room of the after hours GP at Fremantle Hospital on Sunday I spotted a pamphlet with the heading "Know your stress limit!" and saw it had been put out by "diabeteswa". It talks about good and bad stress being part of normal life. For people with diabetes, stress management can reduce blood glucose levels and help prevent long-term complications. Under the heading "Destress your diabetes" it gives the following advice: 1) Recognise your'e stressed and decide what you can do about it (I think you have done this). 2) Remind yourself that you have managed through bad times before (this you have certainly done). 3) TALK TO YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS ABOUT YOUR HOW YOU FEEL (this more or less answers your question "Should I be more open?). 4) Add more physical activity to your routine (we both know why neither of us can do much of that unfortunately). 5) Spend time having fun, doing things you enjoy (I think this is something we should all do as much as possible). 6) Monitor your blood glucose levels (well isn't that what we are told to do all the time?) You can ring 1300 136 588 to talk to one of their diabetes expert about stress management. Not sure it would give you the answers you are looking for but perhaps???? I am not sure any of the above will be of any help but it is meant well by me and diabetes wa as well.
ReplyDeleteThanks Mum, for sharing what you found. xxx
DeleteIn my opinion your blood glucose levels are between you and the doctor managing your diabetes. You should not feel obligated to tell anyone else, unless you want to.
ReplyDeleteThanks M, the main pressure actually comes from family members trying to help - when all it does is make me feel under pressure. xxx
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